Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide

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If you're looking for a book on how to reconcile and keep your marriage together after infidelity, this is not the book for you. And this audiobook is a relentless voice in your ear of tough love for guiding you to making it out alive - and well. Every decent affair recovery therapist I know can account for many marriages that are strong despite the devastation of an affair. Plus I laughed through most of this book, and by that I mean _with_ the author about my cheating clown of a husband, not _at_ the author as was the case with books by Laura Doyle, Hendrix and Hunt, and Gottman. The “Infidelity is a symptom of larger marital issues” argument implies that if you “cure” the marriage, the infidelity will disappear.

Some cheaters should never be trusted again, but I would still encourage a consideration of grace, not just pure justice. By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. She uses a lot of jargon but provides a glossary and some of her sayings are awesome: Don’t waste your life on a barbed wire monkey (p. If you're here, it's because you are surviving, or have survived, infidelity in a relationship that you thought was life-long. No motive justifies betrayal, but it’s not accurate to say that every cheater is driven by the same reason.

Bottom line is both people have to work on the marriage to get over an affair because there were cracks in the marriage. I have successfully left a cheater and gained a life, and I know now that surviving infidelity doesn’t make me pathetic; it makes me mighty.

In fact, sometimes the best thing we can do for a client who is trying to save their marriage is to encourage them NOT to.Here’s a book about infidelity that is not about saving your marriage single-handedly — it’s about saving your sanity. She does a genius job of analyzing what cheaters are and how the “chumps” can survive their horrible crisis and move on. I'd love to have an honest dialogue about any of this, but I think people may be coming here in response to a post by the book's author posted on her site (quite witty, I'll say) with opinions already formed and looking for "evidence" that I blame betrayed partners.