Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear

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However, this was way more biblical than I thought it was going to be. I understand using scripture to prove her points, but most of it went over my head because I'm not a Christian. I ended up skimming/skipping most of those parts. Maybe I should've read the fine print on that one? I truly felt like this book was going to be totally different. A tale of spilled tea, if you will? I do have a couple mild to moderate critiques. The first is more a question on my part, and again, this is Jinger's book, not mine. So however she chose to deal with this is fine with me. But throughout the book, I found myself responding to Gothard's teachings thus: "Excuse you?" "Where do you *get* this stuff?" "Um, you WHAT, now?" And yet, Jinger never questions the fact that her parents, and especially her family's little ones, still follow this man on any level. I understand she can't force them to change their belief system, and in terms of the adults, that's on them. But as much as I loved the fact that Becoming Free Indeed is not a tell-all, there were areas where I kind of wished Jinger had come down a little harder and said, "This man is false, he is dangerous, not just because of what he's been charged with but because of but because of what his ministry does in the everyday. I still love my family but struggle with their involvement," or something. Jinger committed to studying the Bible - truly understanding it - for the first time. What resulted was an earth-shaking realization: much of what she’d always believed about God, obedience to His Word, and personal holiness wasn’t in-line with what the Bible teaches. This really just reads like a promotion for Masters Seminary and Grace Community Church, but using Bill Gothard's teachings as an easy punching bag, given the widespread criticism of his theology. Like many in my generation, I grew up watching the Duggars. As a conservative, Christian, homeschooled kid it was fun to see a family I could relate to on TV ... even if my family had two kids instead of nineteen. The relatability continues in Jinger's new book.

Blazing her own trail. Jinger Vuolo (née Duggar) is set to release a new book, Becoming Free Indeed , in which she “recounts how she began to question the harmful ideology of her youth and learned to embrace true freedom in Christ,” according to the book’s description . Alongside sadness that the show was ending, I felt grateful to have been a part of it. I had countless wonderful experiences thanks to the show. ... There are dozens of places and cultures I wouldn't know anything about if not for the show," Jinger wrote, confessing that she also felt "relief" to no longer be in front of the camera. "In many ways, the show's end was the last leg of a journey that 10-year old me could not have dreamed would occupy so much of my life."Jinger Vuolo, the sixth child in the famous Duggar family of TLC's 19 Kids and Counting and Counting On, recounts how she began to question the unhealthy ideology of her youth and learned to embrace true freedom in Christ. Finally, Jinger calls out all the man made rules of her youth, but lays down her own opinion as truth. I know that most Christians believe this way, but it just stood out to me as a sharp contrast to go from “man made rules are wrong” to “if you don’t end up with Jesus, you’re wrong.” So yeah, Jinger and I were not "abused" as such, or living in abject fear, but I empathized with her and applauded her honesty and straightforward yet gentle presentation. She challenged me, but without saying, "It's your fault for falling for this stuff" or even, "How could you believe what I did, you didn't grow up under Gothard" (because I admit, I sometimes felt guilty reading this book, since I *didn't* grow up that way and thought, "Why do I feel the way I feel?") The message I got from Becoming Free Indeed is not, "Christians are totally messed up and brainwashed," which is what the world's culture wants to tell us and where deconstruction comes from. I think Jinger and Christians like her are getting it right, in that Christians have a valid belief in *Jesus,* we've just let all this other junk get in the way. Jinger stands by her family. This is evident throughout the book. She blames Gothard for the abusive teaching she grew up under and avoids blaming her parents for the toxic way she was raised. I wasn’t expecting (or desiring) this to be a theological treatise, but early on the author refers to this book as her theological journey. Something she (rightly) calls IBLP out on is proof texting, or only using a verse or two without context to prove a point. However, she continues to reference a verse or two here or there, falling into the same trap of proof texting.

It’s been a lot of years since that time and so I was intrigued by the Duggar daughters who have grown up and seemingly parted from some of the more stringent beliefs their family held. I follow a couple of them on social media, Jinger included. This book was a great peek into her journey and I loved her use of disentangling her faith rather than deconstructing. Maintaining a faith in Jesus while recognizing some teachings you’ve had and followed are not biblical is a complicated process. Jinger Vuolo, the sixth child in the famous Duggar family of TLC's 19 Kids and Counting and Counting On , recounts how she began to question the unhealthy ideology of her youth and learned to embrace true freedom in Christ. The most interesting chapter to me was her description of Bill Gothard’s teachings and how incorrect they were. That chapter easily could have been a blog post or series and that would have been sufficient.I, like many, grew up watching the Duggar family on TLC. As a Christian, I can't say I was fascinated in how the family operated because frankly it terrified me. I knew then that there is no way we were interpreting the Bible the same way. Let me start with saying, I grew up in IBLP as well. I am a year younger than Jinger and interacted with her siblings at Big Sandy in Texas multiple times. My last family conference was spring 2014, where I taught pre-excel to some of the Bates kids. So yes, I often I say I grew up in the same community as the Duggars, because IBLP was a tight-knit world and we all knew of each other. What did help me untangle my faith from fear was the same as what did this for Jinger Vuolo. It was Scripture. Studying God's Word and especially committing it to memory (not because someone made me but because I wanted to) helped me to meditate on it deeply and understand that God's love isn't based upon our performance, our adherence to rules we believe will make us holier than others, and it doesn't ebb and flow with how well I think I am performing. God's love is pure and holy and free. And I have it completely through faith in Jesus Christ. Nothing—not pants or haircuts or attending school—can separate me from His love in Christ.

The way she shames any person that decided to leave the church completely isn't very Christian in my opinion. We all have different spiritual journeys and clearly the only option she thinks women should have is to just disentangle their beliefs just like her.

Jinger’s definition of deconstruction is disappointing. It’s fine if she wants to use the word disentangling, and the visual of pulling out dried putty from your hair resonated with me. But she has a very narrow understanding of deconstruction. And while I don’t want to say she hasn’t “deconstructed enough” because everyone is on their own journey, I am concerned about a few of her beliefs. She has disentangled from extreme fundamentalist Christianity (can I say cult?) to very conservative evangelical Christianity. She attends John MacAurthur’s church and quotes him and John Piper. She states that suffering is from God and he causes our suffering. She believes love means giving all of yourself and being selfless and other focused. And she obviously still believes women are to be submissive and men are “servant leaders”. There’s nothing new here beyond what every evangelical heard growing up. The apostle Paul gives us a further implication of “we are free indeed” (John 8:36). After expressing that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1), Paul adds that in Christ Jesus we have been set free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2). Because of that new freedom, we are no longer in bondage to sinfulness, and now we can choose righteousness (Romans 9:12–15). Peter adds a caution that we use this freedom not as an excuse for evil but that we use this freedom to walk in devoted service to God—as bondslaves (1 Peter 2:16). I think the audience for this one is for evangelical women, who may be coming from IBLP or any other far right sect into other denominations. That said, Jinger's novel reads like shortbread with a little bit of drizzle. There's no deep exploration of how IBLP used her family nor how IBLP protected her brother's abuse and dad's control.