Whatever Next! (A Bear Family Book, 2)

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Give children a large piece of paper and paints or crayons to paint a picture of their journey to the moon. Whatever Next? covers some of the same ground as Lady in Waiting, but the tone is much darker, especially about her marriage to Colin Tennant. Before, she painted him as a highly-strung eccentric who was liable to throw tantrums, but now she calls him “an incredibly selfish, damaged and occasionally dangerous man” and says that “I lived with domestic violence and abuse for most of my marriage”. I wasn’t brought up like that. One tried and tried. After he nearly killed me [Tennant violently beat her on Mustique], our marriage did change. We led more separate lives. He spent a lot more time in the West Indies and I was in England with the children. If we’d had to live cheek by jowl, it would have been much harder, as it is for most people.

Anne Glenconner was born Lady Anne Coke in 1932. The eldest daughter of the 5th Earl of Leicester, she grew up at Holkham Hall in Norfolk and was a childhood friend of the late Queen and Princess Margaret and a maid of honour at the Queen’s coronation. She married Colin Tennant, later Lord Glenconner and the owner of Mustique, an island in the West Indies, in 1956. They had five children together, of whom three survive. Her son Charlie, a former heroin addict, died of hepatitis in 1996. Her son Henry died of Aids in 1990. She was appointed lady in waiting to Princess Margaret in 1971. Her first book, a memoir called Lady in Waiting, was published in 2019 and became a surprise hit. Now she has written another, Whatever Next?, in which she reveals that during her marriage she was a victim of domestic violence. Since the second book is definitely informed by the first one, my recommendation is to read both books of Anne Glenconnor’s autobiography. She wraps up with some life advice: "Joy is always waiting for us somewhere in life, even in our darkest moments and often in the most surprising of ways, and that embracing life in all its strangeness has so much good to offer ... I try to keep abreast of things rather than sinking into my own little world, and a positive mindset is always a great asset." After reading "Lady in Waiting", also written by Lady Glenconner, I didn't know what else she could have added to top it but I was actually surprised by what I read: it was a more thorough approach to facts she lightly touched on her first book, and I get why she did it. Old generations raised in between WW2 and what it came afterwards weren't into dwelling on feelings, and the past: you just went on with it. At least, that is what my grandparents did. Some letters come from people who are facing difficult times, often asking my advice on how to cope. It’s very difficult as all our lives are so different and we cope in different ways. I tell them never to give up, and remind them that life often turns round. I also encourage them not to dwell on things. There is a difference, I think, between facing problems and allowing oneself to be overwhelmed by them, though that can be a difficult line to tread. I also tell them I try to think of myself as a puppet with a string coming out of the top of my head, pulling me upwards. That way I sit up straight and look forward. Quite honestly, it makes me feel better if I ever get depressed. It’s often silly things that can make a difference.”No, because I was able to murder her in my novel A Haunting at Holkham[published in 2021]. I got rid of her and there was a wonderful feeling of relief. This is true of a lot of the awful things that have happened to me in my life. Now I’ve written about them, I feel completely different. It’s had a wonderful effect on me. What about Princess Margaret? She’s widely portrayed as having been spoilt and difficult, but you’ve always insisted this is unfair. I felt bad for Princess Margaret when Anne wrote of how the press had to set up a "bad sister" to play against the Queen as "good sister." It made me dislike the press more than I already do (is that even possible?!). So much of what we hear on the news is set up in templates the media has decided on, which may have little basis in reality. Anne Glenconner's remarkable life hasn't always been as glamorous as one would expect of the daughter of the 5th Earl of Leicester, but it's certainly been an eventful one. From being raised in the beautiful Holkham Hall to living in a tent in the jungles of Mustique, and from exploring the world with Princess Margaret, to keeping pace with her unrestrained and impulsive husband - Lord Glenconner - Anne has lived many extremes. This was good, and it was lovely to spend time with Lady Anne once again. I adore her. I prefer her first book, Lady in Waiting.

Colin was a Jekyll and Hyde figure, wasn’t he? Great fun at one moment and vicious and violent at the next. A somewhat different book than the first of her autobiography “Lady in Waiting,” this one is told in the same humorous, matter of fact style but with much more openness and honesty about some things which were whitewashed (her marriage) or glossed over (her childhood trauma at the hands of a nasty governess) in the first book. Yes, they did and if the footman carried raw eggs in a bain-marie from the kitchen to the nursery, it was so far, they were boiled on arrival. The world has changed immeasurably. I think anyone who lived through the war was marked for ever by it. We went through such a lot. I do find it a bit strange what people complain about nowadays. This one was more a re-hashing of that one. Maybe I was too eager and didn’t give enough time between both books.When my friends asked me about Colin’s behaviour, or Princess Margaret and I swapped stories about our difficult husbands, it seemed much healthier to laugh about it all.” You were born into another world. Did the cooks at Holkham really gather up the shed velvet from deers’ antlers, fry it and serve it on toast?

Read the book again allowing children to join in with words they might remember such as WHOOSH! BUMP! Or ‘Whatever next!’ Tell the story Set out a picnic tea on a blanket for your child dressed as Baby Bear on the moon, children canfind a few toys to join in. Make a picture

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Who knows? I’m 90 and a half and I do sometimes get exhausted. But I’m having such a wonderful time. Life is so exciting. I’m going on The One Show on Monday. Lady Glenconner has suffered more than her fair share of tragedy – her eldest son died of heroin addiction, the second of Aids, and the third was involved in a terrible motorbike crash that left him with serious head injuries. But she believes in putting a brave face on things. When asked for the secret of a healthy old age, she advises people to sit up straight, to lift their feet when walking and not shuffle, and to make lunch their last meal of the day. But most important, as we can see from this book, is to be as open-minded and entertaining as she clearly is. Yes, but thanks to this book, I’ve had the most wonderful conversations with them. We’ve been able to talk about what Colin, their father, did to them in great detail and I’ve been able to say: “Oh, darlings.”