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This book speaks directly to the soul of the reader and while there are plenty of different souls out there in the world. Not Nice is not the book for improving the long term outlook for your relationships and career objectives. Aziz started The Center For Social Confidence, which is dedicated to helping everyone break through their shyness and social anxiety. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience.
a therapist I had literally 2 years ago recommended this to me and it took me that long to finish cause this book is such a honker. Thanks for stopping by for my unfiltered approach to family and lifestyle where I share what helps me run my family, business, and life while being lazy AF as often as possible. I saw that clients who were trying the hardest to be nice people also felt the most anxious, guilty, and frustrated. i felt seen and heard in ways i didn't think were possible, especially from a self-help non-fiction book. Resourceful insight , Aziz offers many mind refraiming tools for the habitants living in the "Nice Valley" that want to "Christopfor Columbing" their way out of it.as a person with a mother who is a perpetual people pleaser, I’ve had a lot to unlearn over the years. Reading Letters From A Stoic by Seneca, parallel to Not Nice, as I did, certainly didn't make things easier. What I didn't like was that the author was repeating himself a lot, it got to the point where had to skip some paragraphs or just skim through the pages. The reason why i gave 4 stars to this book is because it got me thinking about people pleasing, caring too much about what people think about me and not being able to say NO when i want to. Not the puff-your-out-chest fake kind of confidence; I’m talking about the truly grounded and magnetic kind of confidence .
Not Nice is for people like myself who struggle to be assertive and direct and tend to take the more polite route, often at our own expense. Long answer: I've struggled with people pleasing, anxiety, low self esteem, and stuttering my whole life. Probably the most valuable aspect of the book was the permission it gives to be "not nice" when it comes to getting your own needs and desires met. In the first chapter, he tells you that his goal is for you to eventually see the term "Nice guy" and think of that as a terrible disgusting thing that you would never ever want to be.Hesitation: You often wait for the “right thing” to say (and thus speak way less than you normally do). At the end of the book there is a 30 day boot camp that give you a small daily task to BREAK FREE of your NICE PROGRAMMING. If you find it hard to be assertive, directly ask for what you want, or say “no” to others, then you just might be suffering from too much niceness. it is the door in a wall you built up so high for years and decades and now the only way out is through. It's so long and 2/3rds of it is recycled Tim Ferris (who I hate) and Tony Robbins and all the other douchebags who teach people how to be assholes and not do things they don't want to do.
it's something that's plagued me for years, to the point where i get extreme anxiety anytime i have to start a conversation or ask someone for something (anything! You’ll start to see that there is no threat in the disapproval of others, which allows you to relax in a deep and powerful way. On one hand he was saying that the opposite of nice is not being a jerk but there was a story where his friend contacted him that he would like to meet because he is going through some hard time and he just responded that he doesn't have a time and he is not ready to be such a friend that his friend needs. I'm at a point in my life where I'm doing a lot of inward reflection, and Not Nice was the ideal book for me right now.but know that it has helped me immensely and i will be revisiting it probably for the rest of my life.
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