The PDA Paradox: The Highs and Lows of My Life on a Little-Known Part of the Autism Spectrum

Product Information

E's eating difficulties had absolutely nothing to do with either control or body-image, yet despite her and her mother's attempts to explain this to the 'mental health professionals', they insisted on treating E for Anorexia she didn't even have. Harry shares his own insights into living life as someone with Pathological Demand Avoidance and how he’s made it work for him. May be genuinely highly attuned to social structures and have a penchant for detecting and challenging hierarchy and authority due to heightened perception of its arbitrary and unfair nature. Pinpoint also give parent carers opportunities to have a say and get involved in improving local services.

Pointing this out does not negate my compassion or understanding that this experience is not Cooper’s fault, but rather is a way of holding space for those moments of the violation of self. But that does not make it impossible for us to become aware of these risks, identify the challenges in our own lives, and acknowledging the pain we’ve caused in the past or continue to cause in the present. There is an interesting pattern I have started to see in PDAers, and that is having difficulty with arbitrary hierarchy, conformity and authority. I knew that he was suffering as much as I was and that caused me so much upset and shame as a parent; that I was causing him distress, that I was a terrible parent, that I didn’t know how to make everything alright.

minute read - Adult watchers of the children's Austrailian TV show "Bluey" have noticed the titular character isn't neurotypical. A person who is very good at masking, and has a special interest in people/society, is going to puzzle a lot of people in the autism assessment space. Another way that demands affect us is that, when I do ask him not to do something, he, of course, generally avoids acknowledging that I have said anything, which triggers my need for control over the situation as he is refusing to be under my control – which, honestly, I can totally understand and respect. I was utterly lost as I had absolutely no clue as to why this was suddenly happening, what was causing it and I had no idea how to help him. However, I think there are number of points that need to be challenged in the video and its discussion.

Currently, he is an independent scholar pursuing an Interest Based Account of autism (monotropism theory). Many common items or subjects that are familiar to autistic persons can be unsafe by autistic perspectives, as highlighted in the high rates of autistic school refusal. Where outwardly expressing her distress and melancholy was met with untold invalidation and abuse, E now internalises everything she feels. The first step to understanding this is to deconstruct the term “Pathological demand avoidance,” Henderson says. I am just explaining the benefits of going to a conference, any conference, that has speakers that are speaking from either the front line or from a first person perspective.

The nurses tried everything and it became clear, very quickly, that there was no way that he was going to accept either of these options. I understood that violence was not a part of this Autistic individual’s inherent being, rather his meltdown was likely in response to the context and triggers of a culture that doesn’t accommodate social disability in a way that mitigates this reaction.

Harry Jack Thompson, the “ naughty autie taking the neurotypical world by storm” known for his advocacy work in awareness for Pathological Demand Avoidance ( PDA) and [ former] director of Neurodivergent Education Support and Training ( NEST), a common profile among autistics and other atypical neurotypes, has recently had his harmful and manipulative behaviors come to light, resulting in his disappearance from the digital space. In the meantime, though, I must navigate the liminal space of a mother who communicates frequently with those who do not have even the tip of a toenail in the Autistic world about the implicit needs and workings of a child who primarily lives there, because it is who he is as a human . When his panic reaction is triggered and both of us feel a fight-to-the death type of anxiety, when I feel debilitated by his screaming and fear and uncertainty pulse in my temples, she reminds me, it is not your child’s responsibility to stop the screaming. a. A extremely strong need for autonomy, either evidenced through observation or self-report; such as stating autonomy is the most important thing, a need to do things “my own way”, “no let’s do it my way”, “I know a better way”. PDAers tend to have fairly good social awareness, and more often than not, interests in some aspect of social structures.So few people understand what this PDA parenting journey entails - the lack of community and safe spaces to be vulnerable. With that being said, I want to give a realistic viewpoint of parenting a PDAer when you are PDA yourself; without rose tinted glasses and without focusing just on the negatives. Caring for a child or young person with additional needs or disability is tiring and, in a big county like Cambridgeshire, can be extremely isolating. This contradicts frequent terminology within the neurodiversity movement of label first language (autistic person).