The Best Ever Book of Dutch Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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If I was an Olympic athlete, I’d rather come in last than win the silver medal. You win the gold, you feel good. You win the bronze, you think, ‘at least I got something.’ But you win that silver, that’s like, ‘Congratulations, you almost won! Of all the losers, you came in first! You’re the number one loser! No one lost ahead of you!’” – Jerry Seinfeld There’s also a town in South Holland called Monster, which probably got its name from Latin. It may come from monasterium, meaning ‘monastery.’ IJsberen The advanced Dutch learners among you may have noticed that pindakaas means ‘peanut cheese.’ So why don’t they call it pindaboter? Well, when peanut butter first came onto the Dutch market, boter could only mean real butter made from milk. Cheese, however, didn’t enjoy such protections and so pindakaas was born.

What's the difference between a straw and a Dutch comedian? One is a hollow cylinder, the other is a silly Hollander. The Dutch generally have progressive attitudes towards gender equality, and the Netherlands ranks fifth in the EU on the European Commission’s 2020 Gender Equality Index. The Netherlands also has a booming gift card market. Many Dutch people buy gift cards ( cadeaukaartjes or cadeaubonnen) from popular e-retailers and gift them to friends, family, and work colleagues for birthdays, holidays, and other special occasions.The Dutch love expressions and will litter their everyday conversations with them. Just when you think you’ve learned them all, all of a sudden you hear about someone ‘having butter on their head’ or ‘falling into the house with a door’. Meaning: That you will take care of something, fix something or get the job done. 32. Get a fresh nose A Belgian lights a match and blows it right out again. “So”, he thinks, “I’ll keep this one, because this one works.”)

Having called The Netherlands my home for quite a while now, I’ve had the privilege of immersing myself in their one-of-a-kind sense of humor. Trust me when I say that it’s an experience worth sharing! List of Jokes About Dutch Why did the Dutch football team bring a shovel to the game? In case they needed to “dig” their way out of a tough situation.Despite their penchant for efficiency, many people note that the Dutch have a disregard for waiting in lines. Most people will wait in lines at shops or supermarkets to pay for their shopping, but queuing etiquette isn’t considered an important part of Dutch culture. Celebrations in the Netherlands There’s also some untranslatable wordplay that requires explaining. Like yelling for a “white one” in a bar to get a beer. Or the double meaning of being “on one leg” for the king.

The way the Dutch make jokes is closely related to something I talked about earlier: being direct. The Dutch are known for being direct and this is also reflected in their humour and the way they make jokes.Origin: The expression first suggested dominating an opponent in a fight and, over time, its meaning extended to things one can learn. 27. Cucumber time A Brit, a Spaniard and a Dutch walk into a bar.. .. unfortunately the Icelander couldn't come, he's still in the European Championship.

Two Dutch girls Two Dutch girls are riding their bicycles home from school one day. The first one says "I've never come this way before." And the other says "it's the cobblestones. " Birthdays in the Netherlands also have some unique customs and traditions. At birthday parties, it’s customary to wish “ gefeliciteerd” (congratulations) to everyone attending, not just to the person whose birthday it is. The Dutch are also notorious for hosting circle parties, where guests sit in a circle chatting while enjoying tea and cake. Gifts in the Netherlands Gift-giving isn’t a common aspect of Dutch business culture. If you’d like to give a gift to a business partner, it’s best to give something modest. It’s also best to wait until you’ve established a relationship and finalized any business negotiations before offering any gifts. Regional variations Fish are part of numerous Dutch idioms. For example, it is also not unusual to say someone is ‘as healthy as a fish’ ( zo gezond als een vis). The herring, in particular is a traditional food and herring season is an annual event. 26. To have something under the kneeI have a lot of growing up to do. I realised that the other day inside my fort.” – Zach Galifianakis Indeed, the Dutch sense of humor can seem direct, and sometimes even crass, to those who are unfamiliar with it. In fact, to the foreign eye, their nonchalant ways may even be perceived as brutal rudeness. Wat is het toetje in de hel? Bertje Vla. (What’s the dessert in hell? Bertje Vla – typical Dutch yogurt dessert) Een Belg steekt een lucifer aan en blaast hem direct weer uit. “Zo”, denkt hij, “ik houd deze, want deze werkt.”