Soaking Wet Lesbians - at the movies: Her girlfriend loses all control of her bladder and leaves her seat dripping wet!

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The weird thing is that, while I’ve never been one for watersports, the pressure on my bladder is kind of horny. I was the one who never really felt like initiating, or at least not with anywhere near the regularity we’d had as a hormone-crazed new couple. Lynette, who’d become friendly with some women on the Facebook page before arriving, hung out with her new mates.

I would text Lynette and my lesbian group chat at the airport before my red-eye flight, suddenly struck with the reality that this was all actually happening.One of the first things I loved about her was observing her get dressed after she showered: her careful routine of lotions and gels and aerosols, her selection of a different wristwatch for different outfits. For a lot of millennial queer women, myself included, MichFest is the perfect example of something beautiful and sacred we would have loved to take part in — something we’d be forever thankful for — if only, if only, they hadn’t seen trans women as the enemy. As a slave it keeps me reminded that I am nothing more than a depository for my Master’s body fluids and that is most gratifying. I’d been wandering around the ship with some nice older British ladies, one of whom I was almost-but-not-quite-flirting with, when they stopped to chat with Lynette, a fellow Brit. It sounds shallow to imply that, in the beginning, I fell for her simply because of her style, her stuff.

But it turned out that there were a few other twenty- and thirtysomethings who’d managed to find their way to Olivia. Then, after dinner, in the ship’s corny nightclub, Lynette and I sexy-danced and ridiculous-goofy-danced in near equal measure. At our evening activities, Jamie was frequently flagging, via colored handkerchiefs placed in her back pocket. Later that week, we’d have a couple long dinners, just the two of us, indulging in the obscene number of courses you’re afforded during a cruise meal and bonding over the strange particularities of being a professional homosexual. When I reached out to Olivia, the company offered me a press ticket for one of its Celebrity-partnered cruises so that I could get a sense of how it's become one of the most successful lesbian companies of all time.Later in the week, Tisha Floratos, the vice president of travel for Olivia, told me that she and her staff think about this a lot. I would worry about which of the many friends my ex-partner and I shared I would lose in the dyke divorce. But what attracted me was the care and attention to detail she demonstrated via a lifetime’s accumulation and curation of these things. Watching one of my friend’s dads talking at the wedding dinner about how much he loved his daughter and her new wife, I teared up a little and said something to my partner about it: “This is actually pretty nice, huh? Later, when telling friends what had happened, I did laugh about it — one told me it sounded like something pulled straight out of The L Word, which, true — but I was also a little mad at that girl, and even more so at myself for being so sloppy.

To me, Olivia was getting the chance to spend an afternoon with a 73-year-old who’d worked for 11 years as a bartender at my favorite lesbian bar in Brooklyn. When you dress up in normal adult life, it tends to be for some other reason, not for formality’s sake on its own. I would move out of an apartment that I adored, that I’d almost single-handedly furnished, that I thought I’d live in for years to come. Having a contest to see who can stay awake the longest, Alisha has clearly lost, making Olivia the winner. In fact, the term ‘watersports’ can mean a myriad of activities from the humble golden shower to various ways of imbibing one’s own – or other people’s – pee for pleasure.Someone who wasn’t looking for someone to help them grow, because they’ve done most of their growing already. I wanted to stay in New York; they were feeling pulled back toward the Mountain West, where they’d grown up. By that, I mean b-o-i kinds of boys (who may or may not identify as such): nonbinary dykes, twinky tops, Titanic -era Leo DiCaprios. My partner got frustrated when I mentioned what I thought were our gendered roles; they thought I was projecting straight bullshit into a queer space where it didn’t need to be. Per the rules of our loose nonmonogamous agreement, I FaceTimed with my partner about what was happening on the cruise, first telling them about the catamaran girl and then, in so many words, about Lynette.

Plus, I wasn’t assigned this story to go and passively report out what everybody else was doing on the cruise; I was supposed to immerse myself in the experience (while, of course, disclosing to anyone I spoke with that I was writing about the trip). In my relationship, I often worried that I was taking on the femme role to my partner’s masc — the Wendy to their Peter — in ways that weren’t always positive or healthy. There’s a lot wrong with that perspective — for one thing, a lot of the modern queers who shit on butch/femme dynamics aren’t from the working class, where those identities were born — but it’s one I still sympathize with, especially as someone who’d previously been hesitant to claim femme identity as my own.Olivia was the extraordinary comfort of feeling so seen, and so loved, by a group of strangers who, by the time we docked in gray, rainy New Jersey, felt more like my family. We also use different external services like Google Webfonts, Google Maps, and external Video providers.