The Joy of Being Selfish: Why you need boundaries and how to set them

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Life coach Michelle has been cited as one of the 50 most inspirational women in the UK and, as a result of her work, she has amassed more than 300,000 followers across social media. Her latest book delves into self-love. In a world where dating advice seems to come either too late, too confusing or too strict, The Selfish Romantic makes dating fun again by reminding you that you are the one to prioritize and fall in love with. I wish I had this book when I was younger and dating! A book for any age trying to enter into partnership." MORE : As a trans dad, I took pregnancy in my stride – but my mental health deteriorated after the birth of my child

Get rid of the fear of being disliked. When you make the first step to set a boundary, it will be messy and confusing. However, to believe your time is worth something more, is huge. It all comes down to self-respect.’ Have a support network To get comfortable saying “no,” it may be easier to practice with strangers first, then trying it with friends and family. Banish guilt or the fear of being disliked Say NO to demanding friends. NO to parties you don't want to go to. NO to being tied to your phone. NO to unwanted hugs. This is an empowering, essential and playful guide to setting boundaries, for readers aged 9+. After the stresses of the pandemic, many people crave self-care, but are still reluctant to prioritize their own needs, said Michelle Elman, author of the new book, “ The Joy of Being Selfish: Why you need boundaries and how to set them.”An honest and authentic piece of writing on the nuances of dating, romance and relationships - even the relationship we have with ourselves. I love that Michelle is able to empathetically hold the reader accountable whilst understanding the complexities of modern dating. Interesting, witty, informative and empowering.” Think of it as vocalizing what you want, asking for what you need and being very clear and honest about your boundaries. Many people — especially women — feel guilty about being direct or saying “no,” but they need to stop thinking they’re hurting others by doing so. What’s up with the title, The Joy of Being Selfish? Well…sometimes you need to just say no. For your own mental health. If you never get any me time because you are constantly fulfilling the needs of others, this is a book you MUST read. Often, this leaves us with little time or energy for much-needed self-love and self-care, and to figure out who we truly are and what we really want. Life coach and influencer '@scarrednotscared' Michelle Elman is here to teach you about reclaiming your life through the art of boundaries. One Trusted Adult: How to Build Strong Connections & Healthy Boundaries with Young People Brooklyn L. Raney

It's time to discover the joy being selfish. Putting the needs of everyone around us before our own is ingrained in us from a young age. Often, this leaves us with little time or energy for much-needed self-love and self-care, and to figure out who we truly are and what we really want. Women, particularly, are taught from a young age that they must swallow their wants and needs to be a good person,’ she says. I received this advanced review copy of the book from a Publisher’s Weekly giveaway. I have already learned the lessons described in this book. However, both my best friend and my daughter will totally benefit from reading The Joy of Being Selfish. Now to decide which one to loan it to first. 5 stars! has been challenging in so many ways but one opportunity has arisen out of all the chaos, grief and misery. It has given us time to pause and prioritise ourselves more. It has given us the chance to be more selfish. Selfish is often seen as a negative word but 2020 has been the year that has turned boundaries from an extra perk that only the most self-aware benefit from to an essential life skill that we must all have to survive. Michelle has made me feel more confident in my own boundary setting in my workplace and relationship. I could not recommend this book enough to those who struggle saying no and put other people’s happiness before their own.”

Choosing to have a conversation about something that matters to you can initially be difficult, and no one can guarantee that every conversation will work out perfectly. But the results of establishing and upholding our boundaries is definitely worth it. Often, we don’t stand up for ourselves because we fear people will like us less, especially at work. But having good boundaries actually leads to clearer communication and mutual respect with our colleagues and, ultimately, a happier workplace, which is a far better thing for our self-esteem.” In today's world of supplements, celebrity diets and social media, it's very easy to be hard on ourselves about the way we look. With all this pressure to strive for 'perfection' aesthetically, it is easy to forget how damaging this can be psychologically. Michelle Elman is a leading part of the body positivity movement that has been gathering momentum to liberate people from these unrealistic standards, recognise that all bodies are equally valuable and broaden the billboard definitions of beauty. Michelle explains easily that by setting boundaries, we get our needs met first, without help from others, and once this has occurred we are ready to face challenges independently. We are free to reach out to others, secure in the knowledge that our safety barriers are set. Are you constantly saying yes to Zoom calls even though you’ve completely lost interest? Do you allow your friends to offload their worries on you? Is your friendship group constantly filled with drama? * Does your boss make constant unreasonable demands? * Do you find yourself saying 'yes' to people and events to keep those around you happy? * Do you often find yourself emotionally exhausted and physically drained?

Do you find yourself constantly doing things or going places you don’t want to be? Then it’s time to discover “boundaries”. This was a very different book to my usual choices and my first “self help style” I’ve read in many years! Learning when to say “no” makes your “yes” more powerful — people no longer take your presence or agreement for granted. One of the few people who truly embody the message that they teach. Her expertise is undeniable, her writing has the ability to connect with every reader in a way that feels as if they're being supported and understood"

Do you frequently say 'yes' to people and events to keep those around you happy? Do you often find yourself emotionally exhausted and physically drained? Do people describe you as a pushover or 'too nice'? It's time to discover the joy of being selfish and reclaim your life through the art of boundaries! As soon as you start setting boundaries and build that self-esteem, you realize that a lot of people in your life don't treat you the way you deserve,” Elman said. Boundaries are how we communicate what is acceptable and what is not,’ she adds. ‘They are essential for self-esteem, confidence and personal power. When you demand respect, your self-respect flourishes and you will have much better idea of your self-worth.’ Every once in a while an author comes along and you want to tell everyone you know to read their books. Michelle is one of those authors. Her work in the mental health space, particularly with boundaries and relationships is so important. Don’t walk to get Michelle’s new book, run!” Nearly every question life coach and queen of boundaries Michelle Elman is asked relates to one subject: dating.