Sorry For Your Loss: What working with the dead taught me about life

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The hospital mortuary has coffins for even tinier babies. The tiny ones are the size of a loaf of bread, but the tiniest are just the size of a bar of soap, lined, with a tiny pillow and blanket for the babies born much too early, but still perfectly formed. They have clothes too from a company that makes them for premature babies. Not generic, but beautifully-embroidered tiny dresses and three piece suits for the boys. I think this may be the saddest thing I ever read. My eyes are full now, just writing it. A note - it is only for babies clothes and a coffin is provided. For adults, it is what they are wearing. Although a man, viewing the much tattooed and pierced body of his loved one, did ask the author to dress her head to toe in a latex outfit he'd bought and remove the genital ring from a piercing to give him. Requests denied. So Sorry for Your Lossis a powerful and indispensable book that is unlike any book on grief that I’ve previously found. Gachman shares her own moving story while offering advice that is both clear and forgiving. The world is full of books that tell you what not to say to someone grieving; I love that Gachman stresses that (with only a few exceptions) anything is better than silence. This is a book suffused with humor and grace, and one that I will keep close at hand to help guide me when I need to comfort others—and myself." guilt results in a touching story that is a delight to cry through.”— Association of Jewish Libraries Sorry For Your Loss is a finalist for the 2022 Governor General's Literary Award for young people's literature — text. The winner will be announced on Nov. 16, 2022.

A luminous collection examining collective and individual grief. In her moving essays, Gachman takes readers on a wide and careful journey, one that made me feel less alone, and thankful for her deep empathy and intelligence.” I appreciate that the sections on the COVID-19 pandemic did not come until the end of the book; it allowed for readers to truly compare the before and after - and realising just what a loss these people faced by not being able to say goodbye to those they loved.I wish I could take away your hurt and I know these words will mean very little. But your child was so loved and my heart goes out to you. The examples below will give you ideas of what to say at a funeral or how to talk to friends, family and colleagues who are dealing with the grief of loss. Hopefully they will make your words of sympathy sound more heartfelt and enable you to really be there for them in their time of need. What Can I Say Instead of Sorry for Your Loss?

So Sorry for Your Loss is a monument to the work of remembering and a testament to the immutable love of family and the grief that forever changes us. Dina Gachman writes with compassion and honesty, at once heartbreakingly human and mordantly funny. Suffused with tender emotion and unsparing reflection on what it means to lose, how we grieve, and how we survive that grief, So Sorry for Your Loss is a deeply moving book that will never leave you.” Think of a baking a layer cake. Each layer of sponge cake is nice, but not remarkable, and neither are the layers of jam or buttercream, not even the water icing drizzled over the top. But then, cut a slice and it is delicious, all together it is a really good cake. And so it is with this book. It is the sum of its parts. An introspective novel about the healing power of art with light touches of tears, laughter, and romance. Worked with comedian and entrepreneur Laura Clery on the follow up to her bestselling memoir IDIOT. Quite often we end up becoming very close to our colleagues. So when they lose someone and we are looking to reach out with a sympathy gift or card, maybe attending a funeral, then it’s good to have something other to say than “I’m sorry for your loss”.Sometimes the best messages of condolences are someone else’s. If you are concerned that anything you come up with will be inadequate, consider selecting a well-known quote from an author or public figure. I am here for you to lean on, now and forever. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, just reach out.

Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved _____. You are now and will remain in my thoughts and prayers. Meet Mr X Found in his apartment months after his death, Mr X has no relatives that can be traced. He is the longest-serving resident of the mortuary, having been there for almost a year while the search for his elusive family continues. The staff talk to him like an old friend, but Mr X is disintegrating and a decision has to be made soon.Grief and mourning are difficult topics for anyone at any age, and Levy’s book treats her subject matter and her readers gently and with understanding. … While the themes might be painful, the book is anything but sad, and it will give its readers some insight into grief as well some tools and suggestions for dealing with it in a proactive and positive way. Highly Recommended.”— CM – Canadian Review of Materials Printz Honor winner Foley takes readers through tenderhearted and sometimes painfully funny observations. It’s a narrative that is threaded through with incredible feeling. A warm and clear-eyed examination of a family swimming through grief and a boy who finds the light.”— ALA Booklist (starred review) Everyone believes that Salil Singh killed his girlfriend, Andrea Bell, five years ago—except Pippa Fitz-Amobi. I know I speak for all who knew your brother/sister when I say they were one of the most incredible people you could hope to meet. Their loss will be devastating to so many In sorrow, we mourn those we've lost. In gratitude, we embrace those around us. In sympathy, we reach out to those who grieve.

Kate, thank you for giving a wonderful, heartwarming introduction about what happens behind the scenes when someone dies. I liked how you wrote about how you and your colleagues cared for the deceased. You showed warmth, sadness, humour and your own vulnerability within your story. I loved the respect and the support you showed family members. Moving onto the effects covid had on the relatives and their loved ones. Linda did so well bringing your memories to life. It made me feel emotional and I understood more about the impact on the staff who had to deal with the sadness of relatives and the loneliness of the person dying without someone they knew beside them. I am the same age as Kate with similarly aged children and my thoughts have turned more to my death since Covid has come to town. My parents have also aged rapidly over the last few years and how I honour them in death, mixing their wishes with my own is very poignant. Kate is absolutely correct when she says we need to talk about death more in our culture and normalise it. It has just occurred to me that while I have full funeral instructions for one of my parents, the other hasn’t even mentioned whether they want to be buried or cremated. Losing a parent is devastating for their children. If you know someone that’s lost their mother or father then let them know you’re thinking of them with these alternative phrases for “sorry for your loss”. There is, of course, a fair deal of gallows humour, as you might expect, but also touching stories of resilience and courage. The author clearly prides herself on following procedure to the T, but does so with a hefty dose of humanity. She sounds the perfect person for the job. All of these experiences were giving me some clarity. I was starting to see that some of the things we get hung up on just don’t matter. I was seeing patterns within the grief. How love presented itself in death, how families reacted to losing someone, how the way we are in life writes the final chapter.”Evie Walman is not obsessed with death. She does think about it a lot, though, but only because her family runs a Jewish funeral home. At twelve, Evie already knows she's going to be a funeral director when she grows up. So what if the kids at school call her "corpse girl" and say she smells like death? They're just mean and don't get how important it is to have someone take care of things when your world is falling apart. There are no words at a time like this. All I can say is how sorry I am you have lost your beloved child. Anyone who has felt the loss of a loved one, who knows what it’s like to feel alone in your grief, or who has wanted to help someone else without knowing how can find comfort in this story. Written for middle-grade readers, this book is a reminder that while pain may not go away, it will get easier with time.”— Canadian Children’s Book Centre Dina Gachman’s SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS is a collection of essays that masterfully explores grief in all its sacred intricacies. It is vulnerable and generous, and while anyone who has experienced grief knows nothing can alleviate its sting, it does offer us a valuable comfort: that you are not alone.-- Marisa Renee Lee, author of GRIEF IS LOVE You really feel for Marshall - she has to move the heaviest bodies to accommodate new arrivals: a job the porters don’t want to do. And her writing on the pandemic is so sad as she and her colleagues struggle to provide the space and care needed, although relatives are no longer allowed into the mortuary to be with their family members.