Glittering a Turd: How surviving the unsurvivable taught me to live: The Sunday Times Top Ten Bestseller

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In this episode, Laura opens up to Kris about the highs and lows she experienced while living out her ‘blue crush dream’, including a fierce battle with bulimia that consumed her at the height of her years in competitive sport. She speaks candidly about some of her darkest moments, her fear of failure and pinpoints the exact moment she realised that she needed help. It’s (wait for it) mindfulness! Well, sort of. Actually, it’s conscious awareness of the neurological limitations of our own systems. In other words, learning that the system is likely to offer a false or skewed viewpoint on reality, and to use (for want of a better term) a software patch to correct this error. Because we can’t trust ourselves to make rational decisions, especially based on our ‘gut feelings’ (see here) we need an alternative decision matrix to refer to. I like to call this anchoring, but call it anything you like. Instead of insisting we know what to do when we actually have no idea, and then making a poor decision based on the emotional and cognitive imperative of the moment, we can evaluate the present situation based on a separate platform. This requires some deep (Type II) thought: what is actually effective for you based on the evidence of your past behaviour and its consequences? What provides longer-term meaning and satisfaction, even though it might be awkward, uncomfortable, or even distressing in the short-term? Remember that, when trying to determine this framework, you’ll probably be self-deluding by making stuff up to fit a viewpoint of events (see here for a discussion of values). This is why working with a psychologist can help – it’s easier to be objective about what actually happened. Guys, there have been moments over these last few months that left me wondering if I'd ever get this thing submitted and I can happily say that as of 22.46 on 13th July 2020 my first draft (albeit pretty rough)has made it's merry way to Unbound to be read by my editor. I might cry.

Fans of Love Island might recognise Laura from season 4 of the show, but others will likely know her from her incredible sporting career as a pro surfer and model. She’d been making waves in the sporting world from her early teens, clinching the title of UK Champion at just 14 years old before deciding to retire at 21. I love every part of Kris story she did not shy away from any of crap that she going with her cancer. It is becoming a common theme to have doctors dismiss or misdiagnose patients with these kind of diseases... and one thing that seems like a common denominator is that the patient usually is a woman. It was in the last 3 memoirs I listened to, but those 3 memoirs were also by women.Oh, and I haven’t even touched on the problems associated with priming and memetic infection (see here, here, and here). If you haven’t come across the expression before you can probably figure out what it means: shit is shit, and you can’t do anything about that, but you can sprinkle some shiny crap on it and pretend that it’s something else. In other words, we can and do tell ourselves that our reality is pretty, even when it’s just a veneer over the underlying stinkiness. In the very same setting where I and my friend work, another colleague has a daughter who was told by a MALE GP that her bleeding between periods was likely due to rough sex with her boyfriend!! After pushing to get a cervical smear, she was diagnosed with cervical cancer and subsequently treated!! If you were sitting in a room chatting to Kris I cannot imagine the conversation to be any more intimate and engaging than the writing in this book. Kris talks about her childhood, her family, her relationships, the things she loves and hates, how she set up Coppafeel because she believed in cancer prevention and early diagnosis. Starting in a little tent at a festival, winging it, the charity has become a huge force in making changes in health education, a dialogue about the C word and has literally saved the lives of many women who have gone to their GPs armed with Kris’ story. And yes Kris writes about her cancer. Diagnosed at 23 - and isn’t that the ‘turd’ of the title - after a series of terrible missed opportunities/ mis-diagnoses which meant that her eventual diagnosis had a ‘terminal’ label. If you want to share the story of how you've glittered your turd, send a voice note or WhatsApp to the Turd Hotline >>> +44 (0)776 923 7544

Best selling author, CoppaFeel! cancer charity founder, and now podcaster, Kris knows how to roll the turds life gives you in glitter. I got this as a library loan and raced through it in under a day. It has taken me a while to review however as I was in a complete rage after reading. Kris tells her story of how its changed the way she lives her life, from how she's surviving, despite many medical treatments, to information on the charity "Coppafeel" which she set up and raises money every year to support breast cancer sufferers. Rage at the egotistical, dismissive, offhand, "I know better because I'm a professional type" doctors who won't f**king listen to their patients who know their own bodies best!!!! This book just brings home how disparaging some doctors, particularly GP's can be, towards women with clear symptoms of cancer. For some reason there seems to be a "can't be arsed" attitude to even refer people for scans, biopsies, mammograms, ultrasound scans, MRI's. Everything is dismissed as "your hormones, your age, your lifestyle", with a definite leaning towards the "watch and wait" scenario. It's not good enough, nor has it ever been. The struggle is real enough without anything , or anyone, added to it. In needing to add that this person is someone's mother, someone's daughter, someone's sister, we are conditioned to think we are not enough to simply be someone.I’ve been in love with Kris Hallenga for a few years now after first hearing her on Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place. “I believe in hope, I believe in happiness, I believe in cups of tea” has circled my head since my first listen and now since reading this book I have plenty more of her quotes to guide me. Her writing is honest and brutal, and it needs to be. If people take away one message from this book , it should be this, above all else, don't ever take no for an answer, particularly from a doctor. Question everything!!!!! GUYS! You only went and funded my book in THREE DAYS. I am pretty sure that's some kind of record. I am truly flabbergasted by the enthusiasm, the love, the support and BELIEF in me. I was truly terrified to launch this crowdfunder (I genuinely very nearly postponed)but you've given me the biggest boost imaginable and OH MY GOSH *breathe* I AM WRITING A BOOK.

New tiny brain lesion followed by stereotactic radiotherapy. Two new liver lesions. Oophorectomy to ensure little to no oestrogen in my body. Stopped letrozole, switched to exemestane and affinitor. Later switched from Affinitor to Palbociclib targeted treatment. Monthly denusomab injections.There can’t be a better title than this one. Glittering a Turd is the story of Kris Hallenga, CEO of Coppafeel the charity which encourages people to examine their breasts and pecs, twin sister to Maren, and a force of nature who by the way has cancer..Kris explains the choice of title much better than I could, but suffice to say being diagnosed with cancer at the age of 23 is pretty much * Feb told it was secondary breast cancer - it had already spread to my lower spine (which explained the immeasurable pain). I appreciate money is super tight for so many people so am offering this tier for people who still would like access but have minimal funds. If you can afford more please leave this tier for others. Thank you so much. Gaby is steadfast in remaining 33 (you’ll hear why) but also where her sunny disposition comes from, and how it pulled her through her turd and is something she has imbued into her own children. Gaby isn't apologetic about her outlook on life, her positivity isn't toxic it is a case of she is who she is, and who she is is a total joy! When I first started reading this I almost felt a little arrogant, saying to myself “Of course that’s breast cancer!!” Then I realised the only reason I recognised those symptoms were because of Coppafeel, the resources from them I’d seen online and resources/pop ups during my time at uni. So my first thank you to Kris is for the knowledge.