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The concept of “forgive and forget” can be a complex and delicate topic to discuss, particularly for survivors of abuse or trauma.
FORGIVING WHAT YOU CAN’T FORGET - Lutheran Church of Hope FORGIVING WHAT YOU CAN’T FORGET - Lutheran Church of Hope
Lichtenfeld S, et al. (2019). The influence of decisional and emotional forgiveness on attributions.
Because this advice has been handed out for ages, you might think it’s rooted in deep wisdom, and it must be easy to do. by Lysa TerKeurst | Jan 7, 2021 | Blog, Forgiving What You Can't ForgetTo the girl whose hurt cannot be undone… Forgiving can seem impossible when the other person has not just affected a season of our life but affected us deeply every day since. Unchangeable wounds feel so very unforgivable. I agree; the person who hurt you should...
F O R G I V I N G - Identity Digital F O R G I V I N G - Identity Digital
Long K, et al. (2020). Forgiveness of other and subsequent health and well-being in midlife: A longitudinal study on female nurses. Forgiveness is an important skill, and it can be positive. It may improve both your mental and physical health and lead to resolution and personal growth in some cases. We don’t forget — we learn. Each experience teaches us something, even the painful ones. Forgetting means you’re forgoing the lesson and growth that can come from it. Instead, consider using it to better equip you for the future. When “forgetting” what has been forgiven is challenging, learning from the experience may help some people cope if they encounter that behavior in the future.
decisional forgiveness: making a conscious decision to let go of hurt feelings, such as anger and resentment, putting them in the past, and moving forward free of the effects those feelings can bring If you’re a survivor of abuse or trauma and want to discuss how this concept fits with your situation, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. emotional forgiveness: replacing negative emotions toward the person who has wronged you with positive ones such as sympathy, compassion, or empathy by Lysa TerKeurst | Oct 14, 2020 | Blog, Forgiving What You Can't ForgetDo you ever feel like relationships are amazing … until they’re not? I understand this frustration. Because the more deeply we are invested in someone, the more their choices affect us — emotionally, physically, mentally and financially. So how do we...
Forgiving What You Can’t Forget | Lysa TerKeurst Forgiving What You Can’t Forget | Lysa TerKeurst
Forgiving is critical for our emotional well-being. By refusing to forgive someone, you may be holding on to all the anger and pain that their actions might have created. This can take an emotional and physical toll. According to a 2016 study, practicing forgiveness might help reduce stress, anxiety, and the likelihood of depression. Forgiving and forgetting” implies that you’ve moved on and no longer think about the offensive act. But forgiving an offense can be hard to do. A 2011 study suggests that forgiveness may give the person permission to continue the offense. In some cases, people who hurt others can manipulate the forgiveness process.
If you’re still having trouble forgiving, especially when you can’t forget, there may be some good reasons to continue trying. Forgiveness may help release emotional baggage, such as anxiety, anger, and pain. A 2019 study notes that several studies have linked forgiveness to lower levels of depression and anxiety. Knowing how to forgive someone can be an essential life skill. It can save friendships, restore faith in our kids, and keep romantic relationships intact. Find perspective. This may require putting some distance between you and someone else, talking with a friend or family member, or even seeking counseling.
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