If I Can't Have You: A Compulsive, Darkly Funny Story of Heartbreak and Obsession

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The story builds and builds and you know something absolutely hectic is going to happen and it doesn’t let you down. It gets a bit unrealistic and out of hand at times HOWEVER like I said I knew what I was in for so I was all in…. Eye roll moments and all!!! You literally want to reach into the book and grab Constance and slap some sense into her but… you gotta let stalkers stalk!!! You do you Boo!!! EM: Okay, so help me try to figure out. I don't live with you. I don't live with her, okay. You guys have been together for what, seven years? They all stared" it held my attention as we travelled a journey with main character Constance who writes a letter to Samuel explaining her thoughts and actions. She works as a receptionist at a doctors' surgery and falls head over heels with the new recruit. He(Samuel) bubbles along through life merrily using and abusing women for sex and dropping them as and when he chooses. She does not see his treatment of her as horrific and instead chooses to see him as the object of her love and devotion and refuses to walk away from him, as so many people have done in her life, who supposedly loved her. EM: What do you think? I mean we've talked quite a bit. What are you thinking? You thinking, where do you think she's … you think she's at a friend's house, think she's okay?

In some ways IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU was too literary for me as I prefer my thrillers to be rollercoaster rides of explosive twists and excitement. I guess a lot of this book missed the mark with me as I felt it was meant to be more of an exploration of sorts...into what, I'm not sure. But I can still appreciate part of the idea if not the entire concept.This is a book that touched so many different emotions in me. One minute I detested Constance, the next I loved her. I’ve winced, gasped, laughed and cried throughout the reading of this book. It’s definitely one of my favourites of 2020 and I can tell you that Charlotte Levin is certainly someone to look out for.

By the time Debbie was at the Powells' front door Monday morning, she had already called Susan on her cell phone. When there was no answer, she tried Susan's work phone at Wells Fargo Investments and, finally, their home landline. This isn't your usual psychological thriller, it is a study of manipulation and gaslighting at its most cruel ways. Josh Powell didn't know it, but he'd just nailed the trifecta, the traits of those who kill their spouses. It was so obvious. It was Ernest Hemingway who once encouraged writers to begin with “one true sentence”. There are many such sentences in Charlotte Levin’s debut “If I Can’t Have You”, but this is her first: “Everyone stared.” Simple, effective, true, because, above all, this is a novel not about looking but rather, about the desire to be seen.

EM: Let me tell ya something. You're, I mean, you're kind of being helpful but you're not helpful, 'cause I mean I've been married and I know who … I can tell you who my wife's closest friends are. My thanks to NetGalley and to the publishers, PanMacmillan for a copy of the ARC in return for an honest review. It turns out that there was much more to the story than I knew going into If I Can't Have You. There's the self-centred husband and father who appeared to view his family as a form of property. The obsessive and delusional father-in-law with a laundry list of sexual deviancies. The public battle over the missing Susan Powell's reputation, which divides two families. The questionable police work done in the months and years following Susan's disappearance. And, of course, the brutal murder-suicide that caps the whole tragic tale. Cons: ending was maybe a tad too controversial for me, too long, could be a bit slow in some places Susan, Josh and the boys are missing. We don't know where they are. They haven't been seen since church.

For the next two hours he answered no calls and drove nearly twenty miles around West Valley City, stalling. He washed his van at a do-it-yourself place where he could soap and scrub the car over and over, far more thoroughly than a drive-through car wash would. Kiirsi then phoned the Relief Society president—the head of their ward's women's group—and the two of them joined Jennifer at the Powell house and talked to the police. Why have I bothered this time ? Because the verdicts not just given out of sequence, it’s put into the ‘about this book’ blurb ! So I now know what happened before I even read the first sentence ! I mean c’mon ! No, you didn't," she said. "You knew it was Monday. Don't you tell me that. You need to get home, Josh, right now."Something did come, however, a little later that evening in the form of a phone call. It made her heart beat faster, her stomach turn somersaults.

But JoVonna Owings had seen the family. She'd been with them Sunday afternoon and would be critical to piecing together Susan's last hours. This character driven, dark story is told from Constance's viewpoint. Even though her behaviour was frenetic and disturbing and she clearly had some issues, it was difficult to not feel for her. The author cunningly made good use of this making me feel very torn, with mixed emotions. This is a raw and compelling story with many thrills and it is also one of deep provocation. If I Can’t Have You is a remarkable début. They say if you love something let it go… I won’t be doing that. Not now. Not Ever. You made me happy and then you left me - If you love someone NEVER let them go. That’s why for me this is just the beginning, I know you will understand and be happy with me again soon. The book is dark and at times very depressing, but I couldn’t put it down. I wanted Constance to have her happy ever after, even whilst watching her self-destruct. This takes obsession to a new level and I absolutely devoured it. Absolutely FABULOUS and I 100% recommend it to anyone who likes their books dark, disturbing and utterly gripping. Debbie Caldwell pulled up in her Ford Club Wagon—the one with fifteen seats to carry all the children who attended her day care—and observed how quiet her friend and neighbor Susan's house seemed. It was 9:00 A.M. on Monday, December 7, 2009, and West Valley City, a suburb of Salt Lake City, was in the middle of a three-day winter storm. Freezing temperatures and four inches of new snowfall made the roads so icy that the local news described the streets as "mayhem."Short synopsis because really we all know from the title that this is a stalker novel. It is very much written in the style of You or Our Kind of Cruelty. Our narrator Constance has secrets and insecurities but most of all she is desperately lonely. This is the heart of the disaster that is to come. Why the local police detectives weren't all over him like bees on honey from the get-go should be a dereliction of duty. When a lonely young woman, Constance Little, develops an infatuation with Samuel, the new doctor at the private medical centre where she works, she is thrilled when he reciprocates. But when he ends their brief and passionate affair, the emotional wounds from her past come fully to the fore, turning her love into a dangerous obsession. The reductiveness of its premise - designed, no doubt, by the publishers to appeal to readers’ tireless appetite for thrills, is both a pity and a mistake. A mistake because this is not in essence a traditional psychological thriller; a pity because there is a danger that it will be overlooked by others. And that would be a shame, because this is a smart, compelling and utterly fascinating novel that lingers. Brilliant. A perfect and completely terrifying depiction of heartbreak and obsession' – Sarah Powell