Chrysalis

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Did I like this style? I’m not sure. This is a difficult book to distil, and I don’t know that I have actually understood its meaning or taken away its essence. I tried to grasp some philosophy but its like trying to cradle sand in your hands. AM: I quite respect her artfulness in being able to put together these beautiful scenes. When I imagine the kind of content she’s producing, I imagine something that’s very artfully done, enjoyable to look at, considers things painters consider like where the light’s coming from, what the composition is. I think there’s a huge amount of skill in putting together a beautiful video. The book allows you to get this sense of there being troubled psychological reasons for her only wanting people to access a specific part of her life and a complete rejection of anything that is messy or difficult. It’s understandable, but problematic. The internal dialogue she has with herself of what is public and what is private and how she’s constructing her new self is reflective of the way in which people often use social media to become a different person. AM: I thought about how any kind of historically marginalized community advocating for themselves has to start out by saying, “This is happening and we think this is wrong.” Rather than being met with a bunch of other people saying, “Yes, this is wrong, what can we do about it?” you’re often met with, “We don’t think that’s real.” Then you have to spend all this time persuading people that there is, in fact, a problem to solve, before you can even start to solve a problem. This story is about a nameless but enigmatic woman, told from the perspectives of three people. First, Elliot. He obsesses over her and watches her strengthen her body after she reveals she suffered trauma. Second, her mother, Bella. She felt helpless raising her, and now she observes as her daughter’s lifestyle impacts strangers’ lives. And third, Susie, her coworker, whose life felt empty until she moved into her apartment.

The following is from Anna Metcalfe's Chrysalis . Metcalfe was born in Germany. Her short fiction has been published in The Best British Short Stories, The Dublin Review, and Lighthouse Journal, among other places, and has been shortlisted for the Bridport Short Story Prize and the Sunday Times Short Story Award. She is the author of a story collection, Blind Water Pass, which was published in the UK. She teaches creative writing at the University of Birmingham. Chrysalis is her first novel. She looked around, and when she couldn’t see what she was looking for she came to me. Her hips swayed as she walked. She moved slowly, holding my gaze. I can’t stop thinking about this incredibly smart and totally unique novel. Ranging from online obsession, to mothers and daughters, to the very nature of selfhood, the whole thing is strange and warm and, crucially, very funny. With shades of Han Kang, Catherine Lacey and Gwendoline Riley, Metcalfe’s writing is both dissecting and effortless; I savoured every last brilliant sentence’ Ruth GilliganThis novel explores these and related concerns, as the life of our unnamed narrator intersects with a man she begins a relationship with, her colleague at work, and her mother. They each see different version of her, and want different things from her, in their lives.

It was interesting to watch these people latch onto this woman and her own seemingly unfeeling attitude toward them. Each narrator has their own idealized view of who she is, and they can’t compute when she doesn’t fit in that box.

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AM: It’s very liberating. It made me start to wonder: What are the good responsibilities? And what are the bad ones? There’s a great Toni Morrison quote about how “Freedom is choosing your responsibility. It’s not having no responsibilities; it’s choosing the ones you want.” I thought a lot about that idea of what freedom is, if freedom requires the abandonment of social convention, if it requires to be free of the kind of complexity and nuance and messiness of interpersonal relationships or if freedom has to exist positively within some of that, you just have to be able to choose for yourself.

When I first read the blurb, it reminded me of The Vegetarian: the outside POVs and a woman who doesn’t conform to society. After reading it, I’d say that’s where the similarities end. This is a wholly unique story. Consider the above question in light of what Susie says here. Although some ask about Nicola's friends and family and wonder where the children are, many are moved by her presence, her strength, her stillness – her inner power. In the gym, the main character is physically transforming herself but not with the aim of losing weight or toningAlthough Anna Metcalfe cites Han Kang’s The Vegetarian, a 2007 novel similar in structure and theme, as a source of inspiration, this doesn't detract one iota from Ms. Metcalfe's creativity. Chrysalis makes for a compelling and highly distinctive read. JA: I like that. It feels like capitalism asks us to tie our identity to work, and when a lot of these characters lose that or experience change, they have this moment of: Who am I? What makes me happy? Does anything make me happy? Is it consuming more that’s going to make me happy? She is watched by Elliot as he trains in the gym. He notices her dedication to building her body and taking up space, and he is drawn to her strength. She is observed by her mother, as she grows from a taciturn, tremulous child into a determined and distant woman, who severs all familial ties. She is observed by her former colleague Susie, who offers her sanctuary and support as she leaves her partner and her job and rebuilds her life, transforms her body, and reinvents herself online. Each of these three witnesses to the woman desires closeness. Each is left with only the husk of who she was before she became someone else: a woman on a singular and solitary path with the power to inspire and to influence her followers, for good and ill. One of the beauties of Chrysalis: the story isn't only about Nicola but the ways Nicola impacts the lives of those around her, particularly the novel's three narrators.

I first met her at the gym. It was early in the afternoon and busier than I would have liked. People, on the whole, make me nervous, but not because I’m insecure. I’m self-employed and live alone. I prefer my own company and keep my own time. I’ve become very good at finding the quietest possible time to do anything, and I’ve been a regular at the gym for a while. Like any habitat, it has its own rhythm, a circadian flow. Once you know how it goes, it’s easy to make it work for you. We are more surprised when we see a woman refusing to conform to somebody else’s expectations of how they ought to behave. Simon’s not here,” I said. My throat was dry and the words came out strange. I coughed and then apologized. All the while she looked at me. “Try the desk,” I said, shifting my weight from leg to leg. Once again, I heard the receptionist point her in the direction of the changing rooms. Then, when Simon was finally located, he too asked if she wanted to change her clothes. An oblique, intimate novel told in lucid, beguiling prose, Chrysalis a story about solitude and selfhood, and about the blurred line between self-care and narcissism. It is about controlling the body and the mind, about the place of the individual within society and what is means when someone choses to leave society behind. It is strikingly contemporary story about the search for answers and those we trust to give them to us.I was alternately intrigued and bemused by the structure of Chrysalis, and then I heard Anna Metcalfe speaking and she stated that the structure of her novel is near identical to Hang Kang’s The Vegetarian . I was a bit disappointed to hear this.