The Best Of Sickipedia: A Collection Of The Sickest, Most Offensive and Politically Incorrect Jokes

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A bloke is driving happily along in his car with his girlfriend when he's pulled over by the police. The police officer approaches him and asks, "Have you been drinking Sir?"

Las Vegas and Glasgow have a lot in common: they’re the only two places in the world where you can pay for sex with chips.” – Frankie Boyle It goes without saying that the following contains some strong language, and very adult humour) Some fruity lines from rude comedians: A bloke is visiting his mother in a mental hopsital when in the same room he comes across a guy moving his arms around and making beeping noises. One morning my hot 15 year-old sister came into my room crying. Dad had finally told her that her real parents were unknown - she was adopted. She turned round and replied, "no, I just can't stand to listen to this shit anymore," turned the TV off and collapsed in a heap in the middle of the room.Bruce slams on the brakes, bolts out of the car and shouts, "Sheila! What the hell are you doing, babe?" Year 2 class in Bradford comes in from playtime. Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at playtime?" The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I’d like to masturbate in the cup. I said, “Well, I’m pretty good, but I don’t think I’m ready to compete just yet.” Sadly, it didn't last. After I came, I found out the condom had split. She started crying again, and I got the shakes. We went downstairs, hand in hand, to break the news to dad that his adopted daughter was probably pregnant.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day. I was watching the God channel with my disabled little sister the other day. After around thirty minutes, she rose from her wheelchair and walked across the room.

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Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with, ‘I can’t talk now, I’m going into a tunnel.’” – Jimmy Carr People think I hate sex. I don’t. I just don’t like things that stop you from seeing the television properly.” – Victoria Wood So, they kept walking. Then the girl stopped again and asked, "Why did you and daddy get a divorce?" I went to the doctors the other day and he said: “Go to Bournemouth, it’s great for flu.” So I went – and I got it.

my daughter is where I spent most of my days Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool and building incest dungeons underneath my pool I took three kids out cuz they were all good told my wife they were just children from the neighborhood.Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says: “Oi – get out. We don’t want your type in here.” (Photo: Pexels)