The Other Mother: A wickedly honest parenting tale for every kind of family

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As a self-described ‘beige lesbian’, Jen Brister offers an insight into what it’s like being the ‘other’ mother in the relationship and the questions she often has to answer. She also goes some way to fill a gap in a growing group of parents who have a slightly different experience to heteronormative couples. From conceiving outside of the ‘norm’ to deciding what to call yourselves as parents (to avoid the confusions of children yelling mummy at two people), Jen Brister captures a snapshot of what parenting looks like in our modern society. Didn't know a lot about Jen Bristow before listening to this book. Knew she was funny, and am fairly sure I knew she had at least one son, having caught part of a set she did on Live At The Apollo. For what this is worth, also knew she was part of a group of comedians I instinctively like - a pal of Sara Pascoe, Sarah Millican, Suzi Ruffel and Jessica Fostekew. Comedian Jen Brister writes about her personal experience of motherhood from the time she and her partner Chloe decide to have children, through the birth of their twin sons and those early sleepless nights, up to the boys reaching four years old. She shares the highs and lows of that time, the expectations of others and also her own misguided expectations, and how what she has learned in that time has shaped her current perspective. We’d chosen to go down the IVF route and use sperm from a bank rather than from someone we knew. I felt completely fine about becoming a parent without the biological connection, but I did have some neurosis about whether my children would like me. I’ll be honest with you: lots of people don’t. I needn’t have worried, though, because as soon as they were born, I realised that these gorgeous _(_prune-faced) little lads needed me more than I could have ever imagined, and I was compelled to rise to the challenge of being their parent. I did enjoy Brister’s snide comments on preachy parents and mumfluencers- as an absolute cynic, I’m here for that!

Brister studied drama at Middlesex University, London, where, in the mid-1990s, she took a course in stand-up comedy, the only one of its kind at the time in the UK. Other famous graduates include Alan Carr, Dan Renton Skinner of the Dutch Elm Conservatoire and Shooting Stars, and Clare Warde of the Runaway Lovers. Brister's first gig was at the end of her third year at university in 1996, [7] at the King's Head in Crouch End, London. I was being a mum and – guess what – I wasn’t completely terrible at it. The truth is that motherhood doesn’t begin and end with conception, pregnancy or even birth. It begins the day you’re given a brand-new human and told that you’ll be responsible for them until the day you die. Five years in, our journey’s only just begun.Despite her optimism about becoming a mother, Jen has to contend with being the “other one”, i.e. the non-biological mother of her children. She fears her twins not loving her as much as their biological mother and observes that she does not have the “glow” of a real mother like her partner. The descriptions of her eventual acceptance of this “otherness” makes the reader realise that temporary loss of identity is a confusion that everyone can sometimes have in life. Nevertheless, the book ends with temporary tranquillity in the characters’ motherhood. Motherhood is just an example of the mixed experiences life can bring, and you never know what comes next. This began as an intriguing look into the dynamics of same-sex parenthood, looking at how it can feel to be the parent who’s not pregnant or who didn’t bring the kids into the world. I found the honesty around Brister’s relationship to feel like fresh air, and she didn’t hide from sharing everything, even things which may not have been flattering but were real. It is important to point out before I start this review that I don't actually have kids but I do a) work with children and b) enjoy reading, so those are my main qualifications for this book review.

With the rebel alliance of MPs attempting to prevent a no deal Brexit before parliament is prorogued next week, who are the women to watch, what are they thinking and how will they act this week? We're joined by Helen Lewis, staff writer for The Atlantic and Katy Balls, deputy political editor of The Spectator to discuss.Stand up comedian Jen Brister’s first novel focuses on her experience of entering motherhood with her partner, Chloe. Once Jen and Chloe have agreed that they would like to start a family, they begin making the hundreds of decisions every parent-to-be faces, with a few extras thrown in for being a gay couple. One of these decisions was that Chloe would undergo fertility treatment, and when their twins are conceived, Jen finds herself launched into the role of ‘the other mother’. Not the birth mother, not the biological mother, not the adoptive mother, but something other.

The Other Mother is not only a hilariously funny and authentic read but it is also a new kind of parenting book which portrays the changing landscape of parenting. We should no longer expect every family to look the same, as Brister explains to her own children; some kids have a mum and dad, some have two mums, some have two dads, and some have just a mum or just a dad, and all of these families share some of the same problems of parenting. I had one of those asymmetric haircuts for a while. I thought I looked so cool. I remember going to my mum’s house and her answering the door saying: “I think your hairdresser hates you.” The funniest joke I’ve ever heard … In 2018, Brister took her sixth show Meaningless to the Edinburgh festival, where she had a sell-out run. This was the first show she had toured around the UK.

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Why a targeted screening programme for a common virus could help new born babies with hearing loss. It's called CMV. Most of us have had it, harmlessly...it feels like a cold but if you're pregnant it can have serious consequences - most commonly deafness. It's more common than Down's affecting 1000 babies a year in Britain but few health professionals know about it. Paediatrician, Dr Tamsin Brown has gathered health professionals together in the East of England and set up a targeted screening programme which she hopes will support the case for nationwide screening. Once, when they were very small, I took our boys to a café. They were both crying and I was coping as best I could: changing their nappies on a chair and wrestling to pour expressed milk into a flask. A woman approached me. ‘Hi, I’m sorry, but my friends and I have been watching you for ages and I just wanted to say...’ she started. Oh God – what? I thought. ‘We think you’re a hero! We can’t imagine how much work twins must be.' My wife and I have children with the last one coming under the wire when I was 4 days shy of 43. How often do I see myself and my family so truly depicted in stories? Never. I have always hated the idea of becoming a parent. The identity of motherhood is sometimes bound up with stereotypes of chatty boringness, a loss of self-identity, and continuous complaints. Those perceptions were challenged after reading Jen Brister’s The Other Mother. Brister was born in Kingston upon Thames, Greater London, in 1975 to an English father and a Spanish mother. She has three brothers. [2] Brister was raised as a Catholic [3] and went to all girls' Ursuline High School, Wimbledon. [4] She then went on to Richmond College. [5] Her Spanish-born mother is a frequent target of her comedy shows. [6] Stand-up career [ edit ]