He's Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe In Himself

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Self-efficacy and personal responsibility are necessary skills in life; if you let you son develop those character traits and skills, he WILL eventually get there! There are clear explanations of teenage brain development, the role of male hormones, the impact of burgeoning sexuality, and teenagers’ need to find their feet as independent social and emotional beings. He seems to think what they need is more work they’ll never do to figure out why they’re not doing work. Getting teenagers into a routine is a topic that frequently comes up in my discussions with parents of teenagers. Learning to be independent is soooo important but many parents over control thereby stunting that natural growth.

To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. The 103 third parties who use cookies on this service do so for their purposes of displaying and measuring personalized ads, generating audience insights, and developing and improving products. If you’re thinking “well he doesn’t seem very stressed by it, that’s half the problem”, he is probably blocking it all out and hoping it will go away. Easy to dismissed boy's when they are growing and this book invites you to stop and think about what might be going on for them.If you do everything for your child, and don't let him fail, he will stop doing anything, because 1. Rather than reacting to pressure by shunning academic responsibilities altogether or propping up fear-based rebellion with justifications like “I am not going to be one of those nerds who have no life,” or “Tests don’t measure intelligence or help you learn, so what’s the point of studying for them? It’s a confusing and challenging world out there, and our adolescents need our help to learn to navigate it. Not only helps to understand what our boy goes through, why he behaves the way he behaves but gives plenty of practical advice.

It's written for middle/upper class parents who have somehow managed to find themselves with nearly no idea how adolescent development works.This is not a book for every parent of every kid, but if your son is school adverse, bored, interested in other things rather than school, sometimes overwhelmed with where to begin, works hard at things he enjoys, this book might be for you. Why do they spend endless hours playing video games or glued to their phones and social media sites instead of studying? He explains why nagging and over-parenting simply exacerbates this issue, and how stepping back and giving boys more autonomy can help them become more self-directed and find their footing. In our silly hyper competitive race for achievement in schools, we sometimes lose the engagement of SOME kids.

I wish I’d read it earlier when my son was in elementary or middle school as I would’ve adjusted my approach and response in handling some of his struggles with motivation sooner, but I still appreciated learning several tips that I can begin to implement now. And I got the message loud and clear to stop rescuing him (though putting that into practice is still a challenge).

I enjoyed the audio version but also purchased the ebook so I can highlight it on my phone and a hard-copy in hopes that I can sneak it into my husband's TBRs.

This book is a huge ray of hope for me, there's a saying that goes: "it takes a village to raise a child" however, to raise a teenager it surely takes more than just a village. They develop multiple passions, and it’s a time in life for real engagement in hobbies and interests.If you name a consequence, be prepared to enforce it, regardless of your son's complaints and threats. If you have a teenage boy with ADHD or a son who just lacks the focus to reach his academic potential, I wholeheartedly recommend this book to you. They are struggling silently, in a world that is too competitive, surrounded by a perfectionistic culture, and because their brains develop later and differently from girls’ brains (and the school system is biased towards a learning style that suits girls more than boys in general- encouraged by sitting in rows, teacher led learning), the boys feel overwhelmed. I don't agree with everything the author said, but I listened and am now armed with additional knowledge and ways to help/cope/work with each of them as they grow. D., is a clinical psychologist with more than 20 years of experience working with children and teens.