With the End in Mind: Dying, Death and Wisdom in an Age of Denial

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The word spirituality can be so diluted as to be nothing more than feeling good when for many people it is that which gives meaning and reality to everything else. It’s based around relatable stories of the patients Mannix met in her decades working in the fields of cancer treatment and hospice care.

It also helps people to enjoy each day as it arises, instead of fearing a sudden and unexpected onset of dying, because usually, death approaches us gradually. This is a gentle book about dying, which is the nicest way to die probably, and I think that it’s a reassuring read if you’re considering the genre, considering doing work in the field, or considering your own mortality in soon days or in some future yet unknown.Tears were never far from my eyes as I read about a head teacher with motor neurone disease; a pair of women with metastatic breast cancer who broke their hips and ended up as hospice roommates; a beautiful young woman who didn’t want to stop wearing her skinny jeans even though they were exacerbating her nerve pain, as then she’d feel like she’d given up; and a husband and wife who each thought the other didn’t know she was dying of cancer. I've also seen a couple where I believe the people were in a nightmarish state even as they were in their final unconsciousness. We are presented with case histories of patients facing the end of their life, how they cope (or don't), and what help Mannix and her team (and others) are able to provide via palliative care.

By turns touching and tragic, funny and wise, With the End in Mind brings together Kathryn Mannix ’ s lifetime of medical experience to tell powerful stories of life and death. My rekindled interest at the end of last year in death and subjects surrounding it continues with this fascinating book, which I received as a free proof in exchange for an honest review. With meditations on life, death, and the space between them, With the End in Mind describes the possibility of meeting death gently, with forethought and preparation, and shows the unexpected beauty, dignity, and profound humanity of life coming to an end.Mostly a reflection on her years as a palliative care medicine doctor, Mannix shares with readers what the process of death looks like, what is valuable to people at the end, and why honest conversations about the one true inevitable event in our lives yields so much less fear and such richer endings. When John Keats was dying of TB in Rome, just 25 and far from family and home, he wrote a series of beautifully judged, empathetic letters of farewell that deal lightly (yet never falsely) with his physical suffering and his emotional anguish. In addition to being an engaging and, dare I say, heartwarming read, it is also richly filled with lessons and advice for current or future use. This book gently guides the reader through various scenarios in the form of stories about patients with various challenges facing the end of their lives.

But this ignores the 'doctor-knows-best' use of medication described above - assisted is apparently OK if the Leader and the author decide to do it.Also, in the book, all the institutions and caregivers seem to behave consistently compassionately, which is not the case, at least here. Man, watching your loved one suffering fucks you up for life, far more than "simple" fact of his of her death. This book contains a lot of personal stories, all different in the same way that we are all different people.