Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto

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A sex and relationship columnist bares it all in a series of essays—part memoir, part manifesto—that explore the author’s coming of age and coming out as a bisexual man and move toward embracing and celebrating sex unencumbered by shame. Largely left with the feeling of 'huh, well, that's that then', though sex-positivity is always wonderful. He's writing about an openness and honesty that you can't fairly compartmentalize or place conditions on, and the admissions about his own behavior are all part of being a Boyslut. Admittedly, I was a little taken aback by the frankness with which Zane discusses drug use, and the way he so casually dismisses STIs, but I realized you can't pick-and-choose your stigmas. All in all, a worthy read for anyone interested in the ways sex affects our lives, our society, and our relationship with each other (all the ways), but especially if you like you some dude-on-dude action.

He has a unique ability to balance humour with a deep appreciation for the vulnerability and humanity of his subjects.Through therapy, socialization, and life experience he explores a journey to self-acceptance that assures us it's okay (and healthy) to have questions and doubts, but also insists we don't let them get in the way of living our lives. It doesn’t do the community both the good and bad, and how it affected him and change them for the better. Plenty of people need to hear that there’s nothing wrong with their fantasies or with their (consensual) sex of any variety. I’m able to talk to men in a way that they may be more open to listening to, just because I am a man… which is fucked up,” he admits, but a reality many are dealing with. It is a personal and powerful testimony inspiring us all learn to live healthier lives unburdened by stigma.

I worry that his cavalier attitude towards some things could be dangerous in the wrong mind, but I don’t believe that’s his job or duty to monitor. Yes, there's a lot of talk about random hookups and one-night stands, but there are also feelings and emotions to navigate.

As a bisexual woman I couldn't not notice what the author said about how people react when someone comes out as bisexual, if it’s a woman – it’s hot, if it’s a man – it’s gay, or in some cases people just don’t believe you and just give you that “all knowing smile”, meaning – no, you’re not.