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The Book of Drugs: A Memoir

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Writings of British mystic Aleister Crowley on occult practices influenced the development of Neopaganism, various religious movements that arose chiefly in the United Kingdom and the United States in the late 1900s and that combine worship of pagan nature deities, particularly of the earth, with benign witchcraft. Foolkiller (STR 3, 360eb/dose) Developed by the Indian Army for use against Pakistan, Foolkiller gives the user this wonderful, unshakable sense of self-confidence and invulnerability. Benefits: CL+3; Awareness/Notice+3; Endurance+3; Duration d10 Minutes. Snapcoke (STR 1, 33eb/dose) One of many brand names for synthetic cocaine, very pure and guaranteed nonaddictive. Benefits: REF+1 (if no REF/Init-Booster installed); INT+1; Duration 1d6x1d10 Minutes. I'd assumed that his skills, being all-powerful, arose from some place of righteousness. That notion was challenged by The Book Of Drugs, a well-written and honest but spiteful story. Neurovine (STR 2, 1000eb/dose) This is an antidote for nerve poison. If taken within 15 seconds of poisoning (assuming you’re not dead), a Neurovine injection helps stabilize the poison until further treatment can be sought. Note that Neurovine is in itself frequently deadly. Benefits: Gives you a chance to survive BioToxins.

Morphazine (STR 2, 52.5eb/dose) This drug puts the patient into dreamless sleep for several hours. It is taken in tablet form. Morphazine is commonly available as a reliable, powerful sleeping pill, though only through prescription. Benefits: Makes you sleep. Well, in the Book of Drugs, that question is answered. Here we see Mike in the grip of mania and depression; we see him in moments of in-your-face anger and then detached resignation. His self-destructive behavior, often erupting through serial addiction to drugs and alcohol, is run down in unsparing detail. And, more striking than anything else, we see a man actively torturing himself with his own past. Thanks to my ex Krystyn putting 'True Dreams of Wichita' on a mixtape in 1995, I was and am a Soul Coughing nerd. I mean, NERD. I managed to see them four times locally before they broke up, I slummed with the 'bass player' before a Boulder show, I went to a CD release party an hour early because I thought I would be crowded. (it wasn't.) It took me a long time to appreciate Doughty's solo career. His music skewed in a different direction and it didn't speak to me in the same way.Hardfire (STR 1, 35eb/dose) This is the stuff that people with the Owari hardwiring use to fire up their nerves. It’s also available on the street as a crude stimulant. Benefits: REF+1 (this depends on Cyberware, see Game Data); Duration 1d10 Minutes. Vanitol (“Johnny Squats”) (STR 2, 60eb/dose) Originally a hospital-grade tranquilizer and stool softener, Vanitol (known as “Johnny Squats,” or just “Squats” on the street) found its way into the illicit drug trade. The drug provides its user a high quite unlike any other, but afflicts him with terrible bouts of diarrhea and cold sweats. This might sound bad, but both the drug-induced euphoria and pain negation qualities turn the digestive assault into an unbeatable good time. By the time Johnny Squats is finished with the user, he is quite thirsty and might swallow up to a gallon of liquids when taking his next dose. It comes as little yellow gel caps with “Vanitol” printed on them. Benefits: Lessened Pain; Wound Level -2 (Critical treated as light), Makes you feel real good; Duration 1d6x10 minutes. INT-Boosters Because of that discrepancy between perceptions, it can be hard as a reader to rectify the difference between our shared experiences with the music and that time. For example, when Doughty laments the awfulness of a song sounding like four people fighting for space, each trying to get their hook in the spotlight, I actually remember that quality being one of the things I loved about the band most, the energy of SO MUCH going on every second. As a friend and fan, it's troubling to hear how caustic and abusive the relationships were among the band, when each member [and management] never showed *me* anything but kindness (especially Mike, who was apparently in a world of pain though I never knew it.) But this isn't a book about my experience or it'd be called The Book of Susie. MDA-Cubed (STR 4, 750eb) This bitter pink-white pill embossed with a pink or red heart gives with it the guarantee of the ultimate orgasm. As the effects of the drug begin, the user begins to feel a oneness for all things, an overwhelming love for the universe, a rejection of conventional sexual mores, and an incredibly potent desire to blissfully copulate with the nearest object. Users are known to have had sex with people outside their sexual orientation, with people they hate, with family members, minors, house pets, reptiles, and electrical appliances. Benefits: Euphoria, Aphrodisiac. Duration: d10 hours. Sin (STR 1, 90eb/dose) Sin acts as an anti-depressant, aphrodesiac and uninhibitor without causing a hangover, which makes it popular. It also occasionally sends people into a psychotic killing frenzy, which makes it illegal. It is manufactured in 25mg capsules. Benefits: Aphrodesiac, Euphoric, Endurance+1, Duratio d10 hours.

Actually, I find the whole thing terrifying. I have enough problems clinging on to sanity as it is.

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Let me explain what I mean by "honest." Doughty doesn't try to make drug use sexy, and at the same time he doesn't play up the tragedy of his situation. In effect, he says, simply, this is my situation, sometimes it was funny, sometimes it was sad, but this was it. He doesn't try to portray himself as a martyr. He doesn't treat his recovery as a miracle. In a way, the book is the chronicle of Doughty's quest for confidence. He shows us a hatred (my word, not his) for his old band-mates that didn't sit well with me, and it wasn't until I considered the source of his hatred that I sympathized. He wasn't mad at them for being lousy collaborators. He was mad at them because they crushed his ego and prevented him from developing as person. Whether Doughty's interpretation of those events is valid or not doesn't matter, because his feelings regarding them are the only truth available.

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