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How to Be Love(d): Simple Truths for Going Easier on Yourself, Embracing Imperfection & Loving Your Way to a Better Life

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The last book on love you'll ever need. Explore simple truths for going easier on yourself, embracing imperfections and loving your way to a better life through insightful stories and down-to-earth advice from artist and international best-selling author of Unlearn, Humble The Poet. All authentic connections are created through vulnerability. So, it’s really important to understand that if you want to connect with another person, you will have to be vulnerable. But it’s the same thing if we want to be vulnerable with ourselves. The last book on love you’ll ever need. Explore simple truths for going easier on yourself, embracing imperfections and loving your way to a better life through insightful stories and down-to-earth advice from artist and international best-selling author of Unlearn, Humble The Poet. Big L love is what you should aim for in your relationships with yourself, your family, and your partner. But Big L love is no “happily ever after.” It’s more of a “happily continuing to work on it.” Big L love takes regular, deliberate, and ongoing effort to sustain. Make time to improve your sex life: Much like the rest of your relationship, sex has to get better over time, not worse.

And more importantly: make a conscious effort to love your partner how they want to be loved. Because you’ll only feel as much love as you give. Instead of earning more, achieving more, and gaining more attention, what we really need to do is clear pathways and make room for love to enter, be realized, and flourish. Whether we're talking about love for ourselves, or love for everyone and everything. We judge because we’re insecure and we’re insecure because we judge. The more we focus on loving others without judging them, the easier it’ll be to love ourselves the same— that’s the relationship between loving ourselves and loving others. The more we realize that our judgments of others relate to our judgments of ourselves, the more we can start breaking the pattern. Thinking in terms of scarcity, thoughts like: ‘There’s never enough, I’m not enough,’ will always mean there won’t be enough, and you’ll never feel like enough.

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When we love ourselves, we’ll find love in others. When we find love in ourselves, we’ll stop looking for love in other places, and instead more love will be easier to realise. This means loving who you are now, but also loving your future. This may require us to let go of old ideas like love requires reciprocity. We treat love like a transaction – ‘Give me some, and I’ll give you some,’ – when really we should see it as, ‘I share love, because I enjoy sharing.’ Think about the people that you love the most in your life. You could probably write a whole book on their imperfections and their flaws, and none of that disqualifies them from your love. You can write a whole book on how they’re difficult to be around but none of that disqualifies them from love. But for some reason we hold the belief that anything less than perfect disqualifies us from love. The analogy I like to use is that love is a breeze, and the work that we have to do isn’t to find the breeze, but rather open our sails. The work that we need to do is to learn how to receive love and accept it more. Intentions over expectations: Set intentions and share them with your partner so they can join you in a common direction you both can head toward.

It’s important to distinguish the two because you don’t want to mistake one for the other. Small L love is like a delicious little treat. It’s all about pleasure and immediate gratification and it doesn’t take a lot of effort to acquire. But Big L love is the nutritious meal that everyone is hungry for. It’s the kind of love that feels deep and life-changing, and that gives you peace and connection. For example, it requires honest communication with yourself and others. What do you really want? How can you meet your needs? And how can your partner help meet them? Don’t wait for your partner to stumble upon the answer – that just leads to frustration and resentment. If you love someone, tell them how you want to be loved. Thinking in abundance: ‘I love and am loved, and there’s plenty to go around,’ helps make that true. We always have control over our attitudes and efforts. It’s important to learn to enjoy you own company – in the same way you try to develop love for somebody else. Loneliness isn’t being by yourself, loneliness is not enjoying your own company, or being unable to be by yourself. It’s important to learn to enjoy your own company actively in the same way that you try to develop love for somebody else. Share your interests, explore your interests, take yourself out on a date.The last book on love you’ll ever need. Explore simple truths for going easier on yourself, embracing imperfections and loving your way to a better life through insightful stories and down-to-earth advice from artist and international best-selling author of Unlearn , Humble The Poet. In this refreshing take on a self-help book, Kanwer Singh, professionally known as Humble the Poet, breaks down the painful truth that we often treat others better than we treat ourselves. “Unlearn: 101 Simple Truths for a Better Life” offers a unique and authentic perspective on how to live a fulfilling life. Instead of the usual clichés, Humble the Poet delves deep into the complexities of relationships, both with others and with ourselves. The author's rare perspective as a South Asian male discussing love adds a refreshing and valuable voice to the conversation.

PDF / EPUB File Name: How_to_Be_Loved_-_Humble_the_Poet.pdf, How_to_Be_Loved_-_Humble_the_Poet.epub With his tattoos, beard, head wrap, and silly smile, Humble commands attention. He stimulates audiences with ideas that challenge conventional wisdom and go against the grain, with dynamic live sets that shake conventions and minds at the same time. He has performed at concerts and festivals, including Lollapalooza, and has been featured in major media including The New York Times, BuzzFeed, Vogue, Rolling Stone, and Huffington Post. We all want love, everything we do is in pursuit of that love, but that journey has gotten difficult and complicated. We’re programmed to seek love outside of ourselves, and we’re trained to love as something to earn, or a destination to reach; that programming blinds us to the simple truth that we are beautiful, eternal sources of love, and to BE LOVED is to BE LOVE. Don’t test each other: Save the tests for the classroom; be open and clear with the love in your life.There’s “Small L” love like our love for ice cream or football games. And then there’s “Big L” love like our love for our grandma’s wrinkly hands or our partner’s silly laugh. Confidence is quiet and calm; it’s the act of being comfortable in your own skin, despite any flaws. Real confidence doesn’t come from being noticed, it comes from being better. Real confidence is modelling ongoing learning.

We all want love. Everything we do is in pursuit of it. But as we count likes on social media and measure our worth by the numbers in our bank accounts, we are programmed to see love as something to earn or win. That programming obscures the simple truth that we ourselves are beautiful, infinite, eternal sources of love. Instead of seeking to be loved by the world, we must be love. Forgive: Accept your partner with love and make space for them to make mistakes and have flaws, knowing they’ll do the same for us. Share experiences: Feeding the relationship new shared experiences will strengthen what you have between each other.If you want more love in your life, then start loving more. The act of love is what’s going to open us up to the feelings of love. We can’t control how much love we receive or experience from others, but we can completely control how much love we share and send out into the world. We all want love. Everything we do is in pursuit of love, but that journey has gotten difficult and complicated. We’re programmed to seek love outside of ourselves, and we’re trained that love is something to earn, or a destination to reach; that programming blinds us to the simple truth that we are beautiful, eternal sources of love, and to BE LOVED is to BE LOVE. Self-love. Start by being your own best friend and being your own nurturing parent. It’s realising that all the love we desire from other people, we can provide that for ourselves.

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